So Real

I am just going to murder everyone else in the world, and then myself, so you'll have to think about what you've done.

Hey.
Uhhm just for starters, where is everyone?

A few things have happened.

Lois decided that it was fun to verbally and mentally abuse me and as a result I moved out.
I live back at Bargara again.

My dad has been pretty good to me.
I wasn't getting anything for my birthday but my dad put money into my account and he's been taking me driving every so often.
He even went and saw me on my birthday, which was nice.
I think he feels guilty.

Donna has disowned me, according to her she "has no daughter". That hurts a little seeing as we were meant to be working towards me moving back with them.
She rang my counsellor saying she wanted to see her to find out how I'm doing. So apparently she's lost the ability to pick up the phone and talk to me.
My counsellor told me it doesn't seem to be on her list of priorities to even try to patch things up with me and that Donna said to her that she's much happier now and has no daughter.
That hurts.
I'm getting surgery on my right knee. I had to ring Donna and tell her and she started crying because she has to pay for it, didn't even ask if I was okay.
She wouldn't even tell my carers my TFN so I could get a job.

I'm not looking forward to Christmas, I'd normally be with my family and see my cousins but that obviously won't be happening.

I don't want to be in foster care. Everything is like a constant reminder that I'm not wanted at home. Everytime someone asks me why I'm in foster care I don't know what to say. I hate the feeling of not being wanted by the people who are meant to love you no matter what. I hate it how people get to live with their parents but whinge and bitch because they weren't allowed to go drinking or got in trouble for having a house party or some stupid shit. I hate when someone asks if my mom or dad is picking me up from whereever I am. I hate how my brother was so much worse than me but gets to continue living at home. I just hate it all so much.
I think this is what's making me depressed.

I'm trying not to eat too much these days, I still never get hungry but now people are always reminding me so I can't say I've forgotten.

These days I work at Kmart, it's pretty good there, everyone's heaps nice except for the Apparel Manager.

I officially finished TAFE today.

I also have a boyfriend, we've been going out since October 3rd. It's good, mostly. He's said some pretty mean things to me but for the most of it he's really good. He's stopped me cutting which is good.

I dunno if anyone even goes on here anymore.

Ohwell.