So Real

ok so now i have heaps of time to catch you all up on everything.

so i basically have to tell you about my whole week starting tuesday. so here goes.

Tuesday 23.10.2007
went back to school. wasnt a good day. got to school, walked to hinkler, late for class.
Session 1 SIP
watched stupid vidoes that were made like 20 years ago about workplace stuff or whatever.
Form
teacher reminded us that some of us still have detention, that includes me and bianca, and if we didnt go to detention then something. i cant really remember what she said.
Session 2 PBS
we had a different teacher and he let us do anything so me and maddie listened to her mp3 and talked, and teased brayden. hes so easy to tease.
1st Lunch
sat with maddie,racene,nicole,tom and maigen. nicole and maigen were drunk. lucky them. they didnt get caught so its all good.
Session 3 Maths
i didnt do anything and at the very end of the lesson the teacher starts getting up me and goes "you have to write down the example before you leave" so i wrote the example inhuge letters. and then i left.
2nd Lunch
i dont remember what happened, nothing really.
Session 4 ECP
sat up at the back table with amy,britti,tayla and tarni. we all ended up texting eachother just to check if we had all out numbers. yes we were bored.
that afternoon i fought with mom, she annoys me so much!!

Wednesday 24.10.2007
fought with mom just before i left. i didnt want to cook today [we were cooking in ECP] and i told mom that, but she just went on and on and onnnnnn so i yelled at her and walked out.
when i got to school me and maddie met up with maigen and nicole then we walked to hinkler again, and we sat down then eventually went back to school err half an hour late.
Session 1 ECP
walked in and the teacher goes to me "are you cooking??" and im like err obviously not and i went and sat down and talked for the rest of the lesson.
Form
the teacher got kinda [alot] angry coz me and bianca didnt go to detention and she said if we didnt go she'd call our parents and blahblahblah.
Session 2 Drama
this subject is really annoying me at the moment coz everyone there is full of happiness and energy and im just not. we had to do stuff like get up and act stuff out, i did it, barely. the teacher was getting annoyed but i dont care.
1st Lunch
sat with the people at D block and then at the end of lunch maigen came and talked to me then we eventually walked to class.
Session 3 HPE
me and maigen rocked up late, the teacher wasnt happy [hes an angry person] and he gave us detention at the end of class, which we didnt go to.
2nd Lunch
sat at D block table again.
Session 4 Maths
i didnt feel like doing work again so i sat there then the teachers like christine your not doing your work, go sit by yourself. haha if he thinks sitting me by myself would make me do my work well he was wrong. i drew pictures.
then after school i had to catch the bus and then just as i was about to get on the bus my hpe teacher came over to me and this is the conversation
teacher: christine why werent you at detention?
me: didnt want to be there
teacher: who do you and maigen think you are?
me: uhhm christine and maigen
teacher: well you can do your detention tomorrow at first lunch
me: no faggot
then i got on the bus, you can probably tell i wasnt in the mood for idiot teachers.
then when i got home me and mom had another argument coz my form/english teacher rang and complained that i hadnt done homework and the office also rang to complain that i hadnt been to school on time once all term. and then i just got sick of mom coz everything else was really bad, hardly any of my friends were talking to me and my knee and wrist really hurt so i decided not to go to dancing and i walked to the iga instead and texted freddy and he came and saw me.
he is so so sweet! as soon as he got there he got out of his car and hugged me for awhile and it was good. then we started talking and he wanted to know what was up coz you could tell i'd been crying [i looked so terrible!] and i told him and he was sooo nice! he talked that through with me but then i decided i didnt want to talk about it so we just talked about random stuff. he tried to convince me he had two birthdays and gave me this big long story why and i was just like nope, not possible. then i looked at his car window and could see my reflection and i was just like "omg i look so terrible" and he goes "no you look beautiful" how sweet!? then we went and sat at the tables but he kept tickling me so i sat on the table and he kept trying to pull me off the table. then he kept whispering to me, then these 2 old ladies sat behind us then freddy goes loudly "and thats the second time i got crabs" and they didnt go away! then he whispers guess what again and i said what then he goes "i totally love you". then we walked back over to his car coz he realised he'd left his keys in it, then he was like pointing over my shoulder but i wouldnt look coz usually if i do he steps away from me and then he like put his arm around me turned me around while still pointing and kissed me on the cheek! then goes i win hehe and i told him hes crazy. then i figured i should go home so he drove me home.
i was still pretty upset thats when i posted the bulletin about taking a break.
that night i watched house and the final episode of summer heights high.
i was still not fully happy but yea.

Thursday 25.10.2007
this was a pretty bad day for me. i didnt fight with mom, i think she felt bad coz i cried so much the day before. i hate crying honestly i do. and i also decided to stop wearing my brace.
got to school, went to hinkler again. no nicole today just me,maddie and maigen coz nicole went to brizzy for the T.O.C concert [jealous much?!] yea so we eventually rocked up for school half an hour late again.
Session 1 PBS
me and maddie just sat there talking pretending to do work since we had our usual teacher back.
Form
the teacher was really not happy since no one bothered to go to detention again, yea like ringing my mom and complaining was gonna do much. but today we were pretty much screwed because english was just before 2nd lunch. dammit.
Session 2 ECP
i sat with cheryl and the teacher was saying the most stupidest things. at one stage she goes "im really carnivorous, i love eating meat" and i go to cheryl "dinosaur" then cheryl starte laughing really loudly and everyone looked at us and we were like uhhm yea....and then we just kept insulting the teacher but not loud enough for her to actually hear us.
1st Lunch
sat with maddie,maigen and tom. racene didnt sit with us that lunchtime. we just talked again.
Session 3 English
we had some class discussion about something then dean goes "because she can knit" and the teacher reapeats him like "because she can KNIIIIIT?" and me and bianca started laughing, wierd since no one else saw the funny side of it.
2nd Lunch
me and bianca had detention for like 5 minutes, then the teacher was like hmm yous can leave i have nothing for yous to actually do. then i went and sat with maigen,maddie and tom.
Parade
i hate parade so so so much. i wasnt very happy coz everyone had been touching my wrist so it was really hurting and i just kept having time to think so yea i had really bad thoughts in my head. and i went and sat by myself to wait for bianca and matt then cheyne sat next to me, michael sat on the other side of me [not michael that i used to like a different one], then ethan sat infront of me and all these other guys came and i was like ...aah! then ran away and sat next to josh. then bianca and matt came so i went and sat next to them.
then when we were walking to SPS matt was teasing me just like playfully but then i was just like ummkaybye and walked off just about crying then my HPE teacher saw me and this is that conversation
teacher: why werent you at detention?
me: uhhm i forgot
teacher: when are you going to turn up?
me: i dunno
teacher: when?
me: i dont know
teacher: when christine? you tell me.
me: i dont know
teacher: you tell me when so you wont forget
me: i dont know
teacher: well when christine?
me: why dont you just leave me alone?
and then i walked off balling my eyes out. and racene saw me, she didnt ask what was wrong she just hugged me, wiped away acouple tears and offered to bash up the teacher. i was just like uhhm dont worry about it. and walked towards my classroom, then i was almost all the way up the stairs then cheyne came out and hes like come with me, so we went for a walk and i was still crying and he was just like talking to me, trying to figure out what was wrong. we were actually kinda looking for his bag. then lansky came along [vice principal, hes a real faggot] and hes like what are yous doing? then cheyne goes looking for my bag and lanskys like well you dont need to hold hands to do that. what the?? we were standing a metre apart, so i just walked off and went to class.
Session 4 SPS
the guys wanted me to go up and sit with them but i just felt like sitting by myself coz i was still kinda crying. then cheyne eventually came back, still no bag. and he sat with me, and talked to me.
had to catch the bus home, thank god i had my ipod to listen to.
then i got ready and went late night. met up with sammie and made a new friend. her name is amy [not the one from ECP] shes in grade 8. then towards the end of the night freddy drove to hinkler and texted me to come out to the parking lot, so me and sammie went out but we couldnt see him so we went and sat with maigen who was having a smoke by herself [oh how tempting, but i didnt its ok] then i got a text from freddy and it said "haha i can see you" then me and sammie were like looking around but couldnt see him, then he started flashing his headlights and we found him. then when we got there they were laughing at us.
then i went around and stood infront of freddy and he like patted his lap and was like cmon sit down. so i sat on him lol. and we were just like talking and he kept tickling me and i hit my head on his car door lol. and then we were just like sitting there and i was looking at something off in the distance, i think it was a plane and then freddy kissed my shoulder and i was like "you right there kissing my shoulder?" and hes like i dont care and he hugged me really close and i was like aaw. then i had to go coz mom was there to pick me up.
when i got home i made that post where i only had 7 minutes. then i watched heroes.
then i was texting freddy and here are the messages he sent me
1] i love you
2] why did you forget people were there
3] well i wish i could kiss you
4] no your lips seemed so much sweeter
5] its wierd cause i really wanna kiss you but i get the feeling like you dont want to
6] really
7] well you wanna go out with me maybe
8] woot i just like lifted up daisy and everything
9] haha well at least now i can say i love you actually mean it fully and now your mine
10] i did mean it fully but its just your mine now and it means so much more that we are together now
11] hasnt it made you
12] only a bit
13] oh ok do you want to put it off for a bit til your life is back on track
14] yes it is look i just got to see you more for me to be there for you
15] without you i would feel lost hopeless and forever unhappy now that i can proudly announce you as my girlfriend the smile has not left my face you make me wanna go to the top of the hummock and say i love you and how much you mean to me so everyone will realise that i truly am in love with you. if i could i would fully explain these feelings i have for you but they are to strong for words to contemplate... well the jist of it is i am in love with you nothing can change that

to explain a couple of them. my reply to message 5 was "if you want to kiss me then just do it" and when he said he fully lifted up daisy that means he lifted up a guy that everyone calls daisy.

Friday Today 26.10.2007
i put my ipod on speakers to listen to while i sleep and when i woke up it was dane cook, hes awesome. download him, watch him, love him. i checked my text messages to make sure i wasnt dreaming those text messages last night. then my morning started getting worse.
got to school me and maddie met up with maigen and andrew [he is so so so so annoying! but i dont think he has any other friends] and we were about to walk up to hinkler like always then andrew was like "oh my moms up there,i cant get caught she'll get angry" so we were like fine! then went back to school.
Session 1 Maths
i was on time. dammit. sat at the back and he didnt notice, idiot teacher. and i did nothing as always.
Form
nothing happened.
Session 2 HPE
standing outside class i was like ohshit hope we dont have our usual teacher, and we didnt. finally something good. i didnt even have to do much. nino looked at me, hes cute. and we got to leave class like almost 10 minutes early.
1st Lunch
sat with maigen,maddie and tom. tom is soo mean!! im not gonna post what he says incase the person he said it about finds this and reads its but i was laughing it was that mean.
Session 3 Drama
this was so bad for me. no one talked to me. first we had to play a game where we had to walk around in a certain style i just walked around normal. i was so close to tears that i was just like screw it not playing. then we had to line up against the wall and we were meant to walk across one at a time doing a funny walk when it was my go i just walked across normal and everyone was clapping for me. that hurt. coz in my mind i figured they were like mocking me or something. that put me closer to crying. then the teacher was like get into groups of 4 for the next activity and i was the ONLY person without a group so i was like screw it no one wants me here and i walked out crying, i didnt even know where i was gonna walk to i was just walking away. i was almost out of the building [its got a reallly long hallway] when the people in my class finally decided someone should come see whats wrong and shauna ran out after me. and shes just like standing there hugging me and trying to calm me down but i felt so bad coz not even the person who was supposed to be one of my best friend came to see what was wrong with me. and when i turned around to walk back down the hallway like the whole class was standing near the door staring at me and i tried to turn around to walk away again but shauna wouldnt let me. so i went back and just like sat in the back corner of the room. then jemma came over to me [meant to be my best friend] and its like oh yea shes gonna ask me if im ok. wrong. she came over to tell me about some boy problsms shes having. great friend she is. then danni came over and sat with me and talked to me.
2nd Lunch
sat with maddie,maigen and tom. they never even knew i was crying. and we just talked and bagged out people.
Session 4 English
me and bianca bitched about that fat girl again, she was flicking her hair around and it was wierd so we laughed at her then she gave us the evil eye. eek.
then after school i walked around to physio and he was kinda worried that my knee dislocated after just sneezing but nothing more than that.
then i had ballet and jazz but i really wasnt in the mood for dancing coz my knee and wrist really hurt and my head still kinda hurt after hitting it on the car door last night.

so thats my week starting from tuesday.
cant wait till tomorrow, im gonna get some new clothes and pick up some pink hair dye. then ive got tap. then im staying over maddies and we're getting smashed. [yay]. then on sunday we might be going to see Saw IV if we can get JayJay to take us since its R rated and you need someone over 18 with you.

should be a decent weekend. sorry its such a long post. i'll answer your comments sunday afternoon/night.

[[i hope someday you have it all.]]