So Real

12th February 2010 5:31PM



I think I'm depressed again.
I can feel it and it scares me.
The hopelessness and helplessness.
I'm on the verge of tears nearly all the time.
I can feel the dread in my chest.
I'm stressed and I'm at the end of my rope.
I would never admit this out loud for fear of it being confirmed.
I can't fight this again.
Here I am, laid down, at the end of my rope, wishing I had not been born.
Now I’ve spewed too much. I can never shut it up. I thought you should be warned
And I implied black sky took the needle to my eye and sucked out all its glow.

I've started talking to Justin again, he likes me.
Me and Jordan had a massive fight because he was pissed off at me for no reason.
Most of the people I've talked to about it have advised I break up with him.

Racene's having a birthday party tomorrow night, I'm not invited.

I might be moving soon depending on something at the department.

I have a lump on my left knee over where one of the screws should be, that's worrying.

I'm going driving on Sunday.