We're all being evicted, the lot of us.
Mark moved out today, he's gone to Haytesbury for the weekend and on Monday he'll move to Haven House.
Sara moves out Friday 15th, she can either find a friend to live with or go to Haytesbury.
Seena is out sometime next week, if they can't find her somewhere in Bundy she'll be moved out of town.
I'm out on the 23rd, I'm moving to a house with just one other girl, Lauren somebody. No carers, just me and her, I don't even know who she is.

In other news.
27th December, 1:13AM Jordan asked me out and I said yes. He makes me pretty happy and he's turning out to be a pretty great guy. He's not embarrassed to take me out with his friends and he's really sweet and I met his family, they're a bit crazy. I have a pretty good feeling about this one.

25th December, my dad came and saw me and he cried. He thought I would've been back living at home by Christmas but because of Donna I will be in care indefinately. So he cried, and I didn't know what to do seeing as normally he doesn't show emotion. I gave him a hug, that seemed to do pretty well. I wasn't invited to family lunch, I didn't expect to be seeing as I'm no longer family.

Freddy confessed his love to me, he knew I had a boyfriend and he wouldn't stop, I had to dig down into my mean side and hurt him to make him stop.

As of yesterday it had been exactly 4 months since I'd spoken to Bruce.

I'm feeling different lately. I think I'm growing colder against emotion.
Happy doesn't feel as good anymore.
Missing someone doesn't hurt so much.
Sadness doesn't feel that sad.
Pain doesn't bother me much.
Nothing hurts as much.
Living doesn't seem so important.
My trust has dwindled down to five people, only three of which I completely trust.
I wonder if I'll be like this the rest of my life?

I'm enjoying the weather lately, it's been a lot of rain, meant to be clearing up Monday but I hope it doesn't.

I'm with Bianca this weekend, it should be good.

There was more I've wanted to post but I can't remember.

So that is all. xo

2 opinions:

Sam said...

I wish you'd told me about this tonight.
I want to hear about this kind of thing...I guess you probably have someone else to talk about it with but I hope you know, I always want to know how you are, and you can always talk to me about anything. I'm not just saying that, I really, really, with all my heart, mean it. You used your friendship benefits when we were talking and this is the kind of thing I'd like to use mine for. If you don't want to then it's okay, but I wish I could help, even if it's just listening to whatever's going on in your head.

"Living doesn't seem so important."
To be honest that has me scared.

If what you're describing is apathy then I think I know how you feel, if not then I'm still here to listen.

Sorry to keep saying that but I just hope you know I'm here if you need me, even if you don't and everyone better is busy and you just need to talk to a person.

I don't know.

I hope you have a really good weekend.

I love you, lots.

Saturday, January 09, 2010 2:09:00 am
Miranda said...

I can't believe that! Crap. I feel awful; I wish I could help, I really do. God, this sucks; I'm so sorry, man. I really, really, like, 100x seriously hope something happens-something good. I'm going to will things to work out (although I think I'd probably jinx things and make it worse because, well, I'm-I don't know why, but I think I'm bad luck).

Anyway, I really want things to work out and I hope they do.

I just hope you can feel better and whatnot. I don't know if I'm comforting at all (because I'm not used to comforting people) but I am trying to, er, comfort you. So, I hope things get better, I hope you get better, and I care-I really do.

Lots of love (and luck)!
-Miranda xox

Saturday, January 09, 2010 9:55:00 am

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